A few days ago I had a discussion with a clear Facebook opponent. Actually, she was against all social media. She argued that Facebook was only a place to share photos while I argued that I used it for communications. I guess in a way we are both right, as people tend to use Facebook very differently. Even my use has changed over time.

At one point we started discussing the value of communicating in various channels, especially comparing: Skype, Phone calls, E-Mail and Facebook mail and wall. She said that all the people worth being friend with she communicate with using the first three communication tools, and those she does not contact using this tools, she did not consider friend nor did she have any need to stay in contact with them.

As you might suspect my view was completely different. I use all those tools, and many times I prefer communicating via Facebook as opposed to mail. Primarily because on Facebook all communicating is “person to person” and by that I mean my inbox is not filled with newsletters etc, that might make me forget or lose an email from a friend. I do agree with her that my closest friends are those I communicate in voice with, but that would never mean that I would consider dropping all my other relations. I love the fact that I can stay in touch and updated with some many of the people that I meet and talk with.

So what can we learn from these differences in use of communication tools and value of them?

Basically I have realized that I might want to see the irregular use of Facebook of a friend that this person might prefer me to contact them via the normal email or via phone call. Whereas, a frequent user might love the (1) after the inbox on their Facebook account.

Thus, take the time to look at what communication tools someone is using before you contact them and you might end up with a better conversation. As you are doing it on their terms!

I asked the question: “Do you value a ”normal” mail more than a Facebook mail?” on Twitter and got these responses:

As you see there was some misunderstanding of the term “normal” mail; I should have said e-mail. But I thank @Garthy30 @tomegnome and @mveilenstein for their answers, once again showing me that this is very individual.

Which one do you value more? And how do you go about contacting someone? Which communication tool is your default?