Learning to Express Love

It all changed on Valentines day this year. I was a few days out of the Ayahuasca retreat, we had been cruising along the Amazon for a week and had just arrived to Manaus in Brazil. I woke up with this realisation, love is not limited it is endless.

I had been travelling with a new friend and I found that I had so much love for him, not romantic love, just love. But I didn’t really know how to express it. This realisation hit me. As a child I never really learn how to share love in words. I knew how to do it with acts of service and physical touch, quality time was a given, but words not that much. Mum and dad said that they loved me, but I didn’t hear it among their friends and loved ones.

I remember so clearly that my mum said that before I meet my X i never really send loving emojis or stuff in text messages, but after meeting him it started. So I guess the expression part had started then. To my x and to my family. But not to friends some how.

That day we took a walk to find some breakfast, and at a street sign I turned to him and said. “I don’t really know how to express this as a friend, but I love you”. Since that moment something shifted in me.

And I find myself sending more love to both my friends and my family than ever before. It is like love expanded when I got an outlet for it, and I’m getting so much in return.

With that said, I still have stuff on the topic to figure out. I sometimes find, especially in large groups of woman that the word is over used. Maybe it isn’t and I just havn’t learned to feel it in a tribe, or maybe they are just raised differently.

But if you have love for people that you have not expressed. Try it, even if it needs an explanation the first few times.

It created ripple affects.

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As a side note, I read that our love language is sometimes what we didn’t get as a child. But we have all of them inside us, we just need to bring them out. I’m still figuring out the gift giving, it doesn’t make sense, yet.